Hopes and regrets.

Sounds like a song title doesn’t it? I am pretty sure you have encountered painful regrets. Hoping you wouldn’t have done something in the first place. That peculiar feeling that made you think, what the hell did you get yourself into? Yes, I am thankful for everything that has happened to me.. but as I move along, things became weirder and harder to control. It does get me through the day but I don’t see its colors fading at all. Instead, it gets more vivid everyday. I am thankful. There, I said it again. However, I surely know my limits. I surely know myself. I can’t do this forever. The question is, when is this going to subside? I’m hanging by a thread, suffocating each and everyday. Yet, I couldn’t get away and I don’t want to. What happens next?

… I don’t know. 😦

 

The first thing I did today…

taking a picture of the clouds. 🙂

Clouds

 

Rain rain go away, you totally destroyed my hot air balloon day!

Hey guys, so where do I start? Recently I’ve gotten myself a 5 mbps internet connection (unifi) and not to forget I got myself an iPod Touch as well. So those two make a great combo of.. *drum roll* VLOGS for the MASSES! Okay, not really for the masses, just for the sake of precious college memories. Nice, eh? 😀 Since then, I’ve been recording videos of me and my friends @ college. Most of them are very ridiculous and crazy since I have a set of crazy, awesome friends right up in my alley.

To start with, today we planned to go see a hot air balloon fiesta over @ Putrajaya but failed due to the heavy rain that afternoon. We decided to go back to college and complete our assignment. The funny part is, we got stuck in the car cuz the rain was so heavy! And the road was full of puddles and I came up with a brilliant idea that is to wait for awhile in the car =D

So yeah, that’s all!

 

Whatever happened to me?

Hey all! Greetings from the one and only Shafeeq.

I kinda feel bad for getting stuck in a hiatus for quite a long time. My last post was on 27th of January. Hmm.. I guess I’ve stopped blogging for a month and a week now. I assume you know why. But if you’re one of the unlucky ones who missed the info (shame on you ;P), I was working since 24th of Jan. It was just a short 1 month job (not really, cuz’ it’s so tiring). While I was working there, I had to travel back and forth (with my scooter) to my workplace and it’s 30 minutes from where I live. It was kinda hard for me at first but I sucked it up and just did whatever I was told.

The first day of work was quite simple, mainly because there was a girl (Bobo) working beside me as well. She explained a lot about the do’s and don’ts. Basically I had to kinda grab the people passing by by… calling them, of course. At first, I thought NO WAY i’m gonna do that. It’s just not my style man! Thinking that I wouldn’t really like it if I were one of the people walking by. This changed when Bobo told me that I can’t be shy and I have to call them no matter what.

At first, I was really turned off by what she said. Clearly, she was annoyingly lecturing me on each and everything that I did. I would rather do it my way than doing her’s and of course I wouldn’t want someone to lecture me each and everytime! Thank God, few days later she had to take some days off  due to CNY celebration. After the CNY, she stopped working. I’m not sure the reason why. Whatever it is, it’s a loooot better when she’s not around!

So working for a month was kinda tough, having to deal with dozens of customers with dozens of personalities. What I’ve concluded was, Iranian people, I don’t know what their teachers or parents taught them, but no offence I can’t emphasize more on how terribly annoying their “discounting skills” are! Not all of them, of course but some of them, I can’t even describe how bad some of them were to an extent they suddenly walked away from me with angry faces because I couldn’t give them a discounted price! I even got scolded and mocked because I was saying sorry. Just when I thought the job’s kinda simple. LOL!

On the other hand, Arab people were very nice and friendly, Thailand/Laos/Vietnam/Phil people were very nice but they were kinda quiet (maybe because they are not that good at speaking in English). Some of the Chinese people from Malaysia were friendly, most of them are not very friendly. Malays, well they’re not really interested with what I’m selling (of course not drugs!). Americans and Australians were very very friendly.

After that 1 month job, I registered for my 2nd semester @ Limkokwing. Still taking the same course, I wanna be a 4 flat student this time. Still having the same friends although I’ve noticed that some of them have decided to stop being friendly. Maybe that’s life, right? People change through time, right? Nothing stays the same. Whatever it is, I can’t help but ignore these people because I can’t really tell you how busy I am giving attention to my other good friends.

What else’s new? HMM. Oh ya, my camera, Kiku! Not only that it’s new but it’s also much more famous that I am. Seriously, most of the people that I met after posting some pictures taken with my new camera, they were already calling my camera Kiku like it’s a living object or something! LOL! Now that’s my first. Thanks to Facebook. Here’s Kiku :

Why Kiku you asked? I think that Kiss is much more of a romantic name than a cute name. Well, if you guys haven’t digested this yet, cute is always what I aim for. Hence, the name. Cute or weird, up to you. It’s weirdly cute to me. Classes have started. I love reuniting with my friends again. Great lecturers too! I feel good. 🙂 Not forgetting Tintun visited KL two weeks ago! Had soooo much fun!!!

Well that’s all I guess.
Will be updating soon!

 

Happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at4OHP7FGN8

I always knew I would one day be here
But I couldn’t be a puppet on a string
I’ve had my fights often I’ve been KO’d
But I’ve got back up no I won’t give in

And now I know how it works
If you’re too nice, you lose

I’m gonna make it to the top well let me show you
And if I have got to toughen up then that is what I’ll do
But don’t make me a monster baby you’d be crazy that’s for sure
Becoming a bitch is not what I got into music for

Remember back to a bench in Wales
Where two young boys started mocking me
I looked at them thought I’ll show you one day
But I didn’t fight or stand up for me

And that young girl’s learnt the hard way
If you’re too nice, you lose

I’m gonna make it to the top well let me show you
And if I have got to toughen up then that is what I’ll do
But don’t make me a monster baby you’d be crazy that’s for sure
Becoming a bitch is not what I got into music for

I’ll make it crystal clear
I am not going anywhere
As long as there is music
I’ll be here, here

I’m gonna make it to the top well let me show you
And if I have got to toughen up then that is what I’ll do
But don’t make me a monster baby you’d be crazy that’s for sure
Becoming a bitch is not what I got into music for

I’m gonna make it to the top well let me show you
And if I have got to toughen up then that is what I’ll do
I’ve sold you a million baby not just maybe that’s for sure
Given the chance I’ll show you I can sell a zillion more

Dozens of opportunities knocked twice on my door  like a blooming flower.
I’m happy. I’m in my element. My life is no longer dull and grey nor judged or betrayed.
This is who I am. Yes, I took your challenges seriously.
I feel proud, in a way that I can’t explain at all. Finally, I feel happy for the first time in two months.

Of course, the going got real tough for me but I’m here now nonetheless.

Like Jem said,

I always knew I would one day be here
But I couldn’t be a puppet on a string
I’ve had my fights often I’ve been KO’d
But I’ve got back up no I won’t give in

=)

Alhamdulillah.

 

Who I was..

I walk barefoot where the water drowns the sand
With you no longer here to hold my hand
I let go
I let go

The ocean makes my swollen heart feel small
With the sounds it makes, you won’t hear it, if I call
I let go
I let go

There’s a breeze in the air
There’s a boat anchored out here
There’s a calm under the waves
As I choose to sink

Your skin protected me from sunbeams
Your hands made sure I’d stay intact
I let go
I let go

You were always there to walk me home
With you not here, the streets I roam
I let go
I let go

There’s a breeze in the air
There’s a boat passing over there
There’s a calm under the waves
As I choose to sink

With your voice in my head
I could fall here instead
But there’s a calm under the waves
So I choose to sink

I’m tired now, I’ll see you when I wake up
I’ve heard it’s pretty where you are
I let go
I let go

I could never imagine a world without you.
There’s just a lot of stuff happening around and sometimes they’re more than I can handle.
Having you around would be the best thing that could happen to me right now.
I don’t know why lately I’ve been missing you so much although I tried hard to move on with my life without you.

No one could replace you.

 

The criminal of overdoing things.

Hello there whoever you are.
Today I realized that I can’t satisfy everyone, especially with my actions, my behavior and my words.

Dear people, I am not that stupid. I know what I’m doing and I know who I wrote that angry blog post for.
I am not that stupid to dedicate it to the people who never judged me or the people who were always standing there by my side.
I am sorry if you thought it was you KE. Truthfully, I did not write it for you.
I’m so sorry if I hurt you.

Please, don’t feel that way.

 

Dear Mama..

This post contains stuff that I don’t normally tell anyone at all but if you’re going to read it, please read it with an open heart.

 

Another sleepless, watchful night

Just give me time
And I’ll know I’ll be right where I want to be
And in time
This will be just a memory
And I’ll find my way back home
Gonna find my way back home
Cause you’ve given me time
Give me hope
Give me love [2x]
Give me time
Give me hope
Give me love
And I’ll find my way back home
All I need is time
Whoo
Cause all I need is time
Then I’ll find my way back home
And I’ll be fine
All I need is time

Another sleepless night and the clock never stops ticking. Time is not on my side anymore.
All I know is that I can’t afford making any more mistakes and handle the consequences anymore.
I’ve had enough help from everyone around me. That’s why now I need to solve my own problems and pretend when I have to.
I just realized that I’ve been spending a little too much. I really need to manage my spending.
This weekend I’ll be going back to my hometown and find a job if that’s still possible.
Whatever it is, right now I really want to do anything but staying at home.
I need a job.
I really really need a job.

and i’m saying this from the bottom of my broken heart. (britney spears la konon)

 

Amelioration is better than alteration

There’s a road – long and winding
The lights are blindin’ – but it gets there
Don’t give up – don’t look back
There’s a silver linin’ – it’s out there somewhere
Everybody wants an answer – everybody needs a friend
We all need a shinin’ star on which we can depend
N’ so tonight we’re gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before – (to find what you’re
looking for)

If that’s somehow correct. Yes, amelioration is a better way to not only remind others but to also remind yourself that nobody is flawless including you. Simply put, nobody is perfect. Even you. To ameliorate  is to upgrade or improve something or someone’s attitude without being completely faultfinding. Deplorably, not everyone understands the true definition of upgrading someone’s behavior hence all the judgements made by the miserable people lacking sagacity and wisdom.

How do you surmount this problem?

Karma will sure enough brush these people down the hard way one of these days. It’s more than enough to watch these people fail and fall down on their knees sooner or later.

Let me remind you that you can judge anybody at your own will but in the long run, you will see that you’re in no way capable of stopping karma.
So please stop judging people.